Real

It's been an introspective time for me.  I have often sat down to blog and found myself just saving drafts unable to really articulate much of anything.  I've mentioned recently how I have felt overwhelmed lately and how I have seen the Lord present to help me with that.  It's been a time to evaluate, to think, to pray, to change, to cut back,  and to just sit back and say, "God I really need You."

Although these types of seasons are not really that fun, they do provide an opportunity to be thankful.  It's usually in times of difficulty when we human beings are most likely to realize our own limitations and reach out for assistance.  Unfortunately many reach out in the wrong direction to things, people, and/or gods that don't satisfy and don't provide what is real.  Others who do seek the Truth know what is real.

Real is refreshing.  After sitting with a friend for a good part of the day and just chatting I felt very refreshed.  Part of this refreshment came from the breeze, part of it came from the reason we were there, and part of it came from the fun we were having.  But as I pondered on this more throughout the evening, I realized that much of this refreshment came from just having someone to talk to who is real and feeling comfortable to be real right back.

I try to always be real.  I love real and believe it should be characteristic of who I claim to be and what I stand for, so therefore it is a priority to be real.  Of course there are times when it is not easy or comfortable to be real, and other times when I fail to be gracious along with real.  Still other times I fail to be real all together.  I long to be a genuine and consistent person, and I want to refresh others and glorify God as a result.

Even more than this I am so thankful that I serve a God who is not only real, meaning existing, but also real as in genuine and true.  He will never let me down.  He will never leave me.  He will always remain true and faithful and gracious and loving to me.  Furthermore, I can be real with Him.

Have you ever screamed at God or just yelled while you prayed?  I have.  Have you ever just told Him exactly how you felt and trusted Him to love you and comfort you anyway?  Oh, I am so thankful that I have. He knows exactly what I am feeling and thinking anyway.  Why would I try to "hide" it from Him or wear a mask with Him?  He wants me.  He wants my genuine interaction.  He wants me to be me, even if and when I feel like I can only be that way with Him.  Praise the Lord!

He has also blessed me with a husband that I can be completely real with and still be loved and accepted by him.  It doesn't mean that he always agrees with me or likes me when I get into a funk of some sort, but he loves me anyway.

Real is so refreshing.

Why aren't more people real?  Fear?

Think of how many complicated situations and conflicts would be avoided if we were just real with each other.

Think of how many times we would receive His strength to get through a situation if we were just real with Him about it.

Lord, please help me to be real.

Death to Complacency

I was at our big international conference for my business this past weekend, and I walked away with a lot of conviction.  The word complacent was mentioned, and it hit me pretty hard.  I started to think more about complacency and ask the Lord where it had taken root in my life and all aspects of it.

Dictionary:
     Complacent - Contented to a fault; self-satisfied and unconcerned.

Bible:
     "At that time I will search Jerusalem with lamps and punish those who are complacent, who are like wine left on its dregs, who think, 'The LORD will do nothing, either good or bad.'" (Zephaniah 1:12)

     "Woe to you who are complacent in Zion, and to you who feel secure on Mount Samaria, you notable men of the foremost nation, to whom the people of Israel come!" (Amos 6:1)

     "Within a year and a few days You will be troubled, O complacent daughters; For the vintage is ended, And the fruit gathering will not come." (Isaiah 32:10)

Uh...ouch.

So even though there is more to the story with each one of this scripture references, it is easy for me to decide that I certainly don't want this word to explain any aspect of my life.  However I realized that indeed there are places of Kristen that can very accurately be described in this way right now.

As they say, though, "Knowing is half the battle."  The other half is changing it.

How does complacency set in?  Knowing this will help in preventing it again (and again and again) down the road.  It is like a cancer because it is not usually detected until it has grown enough to cause a problem.  Then it must be fought with vigor and aggression to destroy it completely in order to be set free from it.

My definition of complacent is:
     Knowing what I should do and not doing it.  Being content with where I am.

Even if I think that I am thinking otherwise - ie: I don't consider myself content with where I am - my actions speak the truth.

I have realized that this is going on in my business, for example.  I have a job do to, a responsibility, to those whom the Lord brings before me to offer hope through what my company has to offer.  How can I be complacent when I know how much I have been blessed by it?  How can I act unconcerned for others?

I have realized that I have grown complacent in my prayer life.  I have been more intentional in recent weeks, but still the battle must be fought and won in order to restore my prayer life to one that takes seriously the call to pray.

I have realized that I have grown complacent in my outreach to my neighbors.  I want to show my neighbors the love that Christ has for them and the love that He has given me for them, as a result.  I want to invest in them and be a good friend.

Complacency can sometimes be disguised as busyness.  Sometimes I am busy, but other times I have not been intentional in making what the Lord has called me to do a priority and something of great importance.  I can make great excuses, some of which may even be valid, but the fact remains that a complacent heart is not good.

The Lord sees our hearts.  He knows what is going on in there, and only He can help us do what is right.

I need Him.  It is so easy to become complacent if I forget this truth.  I need Him for everything.  I must depend on Him wholeheartedly and realize that apart from Him I can do no good thing.

So now I revisit these areas of my life, look into what scripture says about them, and carry on.  May I be faithful to continually slay complacency with the Sword of Truth, for His glory.

Can I get an Amen?

It's All in the Followthrough

If you have ever played any sports, you have heard about followthrough.  You have heard it said, "It's all in the followthrough."  I remember in my short attempt to play sports during my childhood many times where a coach or teacher would tell me I needed to follow through.  They would tell me I was cutting myself short because I wasn't following through after releasing the ball, etc.  I knew they were right.  It takes concentration and effort to follow through, but it is worth it.

Over the past couple of years, I have been digging into this idea of followthrough.  Mostly I need to because, embarrassingly, I am not always good at it.  I don't like this about myself, and I wish to change it.  I want to be a person who follows through and can be trusted to do so.

Followthrough.

Bringing to completion.

Finishing what I start.

Followthrough is the noun that comes from the verb phrase, "to follow through."

As I have been working on many ideas, including several books to write, I have noticed that it seems the difference between a good idea and a good idea that comes to fruition is the followthrough.  Perhaps here again it is all in the followthrough.  When I would hear of a new product or idea that came out, I used to ask myself, "No one had ever thought of that before now? Why didn't anyone ever think of that earlier than now?  Why didn't I think of that?!"

Now I see that it's not always that no one thought of it before, but rather no one did anything about the idea before.  Have you ever known someone who after seeing a new product on the market lamented, "That was my idea!  I wanted to do that!"  Often they just never did anything about it, and someone else did.

Sometimes there are hindrances such as fear, laziness, regret, lack of intentionality...  Also, when I fail to followthrough I am almost always acting in selfishness.  It may not be noticeable even to myself, but selfishness lurks in the shadows of not following through with what the Lord has called me to do with excellence for His glory.  Usually, I am thinking of myself and not others when I reside in those shadows. 

I need Jesus here because I cannot grow and mature in the area of followthrough without His help.

I am confronted with this issue daily.  In my daily life, in my business, in my teaching myself to play violin, in my writing, in my desire to take care of myself, there is always a fight to followthrough.  It takes work to followthrough and to be a person who means what he says and does what he says he will do. 

I want to be this type of person.

I am thankful that the Lord finishes what He starts.

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6)

May I follow His example and followthrough where I am called to finish what I have started.  I pray this for you, as well.

Change of Location, Change of Perspective

Have you ever had times when you realized that the way you used to think about something has changed, and now you think differently about that something than you did before?

After recently moving and settling in pretty quickly, I have noticed some changes in my thinking about living situations.  Let me explain.

Five years ago we bought a little 1/1 condo that we thought was wonderful.  It was part of a condo conversion neighborhood, and it had all been redone on the inside.  We had been renting, and the excitement of buying ran through our blood.  We didn't have children, but we did want to have them in the future.  We thought perhaps we could keep this place, rent it out, pay it off, and use it for ministry - like for a place to stay when missionaries came in or something.  Yes, we had high hopes for this little 790 square feet beauty.

When our first child came along about a year and a half later, we didn't have a problem making room for baby and being creative with our space (or lack thereof).  "Besides," we thought, "people all over the world live in smaller spaces than this with more children.  We can do this."  We really didn't have a choice anyway because the market had already crashed, and at that point there was no reasonable way out.  We were content, though, really we were.

Time passed and child number two came along.  Again, unfazed, we continued to be creative (I love creative challenges!), and we made it work quite well.  We were blessed with ideas and with the means to create a place that did not feel as small as it actually was.  I have mentioned before that I made the bedroom the room for the children, and my husband and I slept on an upgraded pull out couch that eventually got swapped for a bed that I made look like a couch.

Still we maintained the "people around the world live with a lot less" mentality.  We were still content. 

However over time the contentedness became what I've heard called a "holy discontent."  In other words, the Lord was changing our hearts to prepare us to move on.  For months I had struggled with the fact that we would have to sell our home in order to move into something that fit us better and would be closer to where my husband works and much more budget friendly.  Then the Lord gave me a release in my heart.  I was ready to let it go.

After moving to our 1640 square foot home and seeing how much happier we all seemed - I didn't think we were unhappy before, but we were getting restless in that small home - I realized something.  Just because "people around the world live with a lot less" doesn't mean that they don't need more.  Just because people are living seventeen people to a small room and getting by doesn't mean that they wouldn't do much better with more space.  In fact, I now believe that they do indeed need more space and would thrive much better with a little more of it.  I am not talking about space to fill with more stuff, nor do I think that adopting a more materialistic approach to life that craves more and bigger would benefit them.  I just mean that I think we all just need some space sometimes.  We need to have room to breathe and be ourselves and run around a bit.

Also it doesn't make me an ungrateful American if I decide that when it comes to a home, living a bit more of a normal American life is better for our family.  We are pretty counter-cultural in a lot of other ways, anyway.  It doesn't make me less in touch with the rest of the world.  God gives us the grace to live here in America just as He gives my brothers and sisters who follow Him in other nations the grace to live where He has placed them.  It is okay.

We needed this space, and it is obvious to me now that I also needed some shifting in my thinking.  I am thankful to have received both.  He is so kind and gracious.

Making the Old New

I love those shows on HGTV that find an old piece of something and turn it into something totally brand new with a little bit of money and a lot of effort.  It is so exciting to see what they come up with and how the old can become new.

One of my favorite ways to obtain decor for my home or art to sell is by finding something that someone else has written off as trash and making it something new and wonderful.  Often when I find these poor thrown out items this way, on the side of the road or near a dumpster (I haven't even actually gone in a dumpster), they are free to me to do what I please with them.

I also like going to yard sales or "last chance" sections of stores to find these gems who are waiting for someone like me to rescue them and make them something that no one else can envision they would become.  Often these items are purchased at a small fraction of the original cost!

Two of my favorite and most recent acquisitions are situated in my master bedroom.  They are now a source of great refreshing and relaxation for me.  I wish I remembered to take a before picture of one of the items, but I got too excited to change it and forgot.  Here are the items together, and then I will show you the before and after shots of one of them.

The loveseat is actually a brown wicker loveseat with cushions on the seat and the back.  Originally I wanted to paint the wicker part, especially because the stain was peeling off of it, and sew cushion covers.  However, one day I realized that I might be able to use my slipcover that was on our old couch and fit it to this loveseat.  That covered the peely wicker and the old cushions.  Then I added some throw pillows that I already had made and added the white throw to cover up the imperfections and add some contrast.

The painting was a find I was thrilled over!  I found it near the dumpster, and it had a southwestern styled painting painted on it.  The paint was chipped in one spot, which might be why it was thrown away.  Well, I just painted over it.  You might know that I love sheep, so I thought that the perfect scene for me to notice first thing in the morning when I wake up is this painting of sheep grazing and/or lying down in the pasture while their loving shepherd looks on with great care.  Here are the before and after shots:

Before



After

You can kind of see the remnants of the cactus and the rocks in the original painting, and I hope the artist would not be offended that I painted over her work, but all in all I am very pleased at the outcome and the character the new painting has a result of what it once was.

There are other examples of this in my home.  In fact, almost every room has a least one piece that has been redone in some way and made something completely new.  This is not only really fun to me, but it also saves money and prevents waste.  Check your dumpsters because some people throw out some really great stuff!

When I am working on a project like these, I cannot help but think of how I have been made new.  There is One who saw me for more than I was and made me into someone far better than I ever could have been if left the way I was.  Not only that, but He sees who I am now and knows that there is even more improving ahead.  He rescued me from the dumpster where my sin had left me.  He excitedly picked me up and thought of His plan for me.  He worked carefully and with great care to make me something new.  And now He has set me as a display of His splendor for His glory and renown (see Isaiah 61:1-3).  Pretty amazing!

This is what the LORD did when I said, "Jesus, be my Lord and Savior.  Save me from my sins, and help me live for You.  I believe that You died to pay the penalty of my sins and rose again from the dead to defeat death and make a way for me to be connected again with the God who made me."

And then I was new.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I love making the old new, and it turns out that I am in good company.

The Lost Art of Conversation

Do you remember that song from the 90's by Boyz II Men, Water Runs Dry?  It's starts out with, "We don't even talk anymore..." 

I think of this lyric when I think of all of the texting, social media, and emailing that goes on daily in our society.  At the risk of sounding like a 90 year old woman (with all due respect to the 90 year old women out there who are reading this post), I can't help but wonder how detrimental this lack of conversation is to our relationships, families, culture, and society.

Remember when we used to talk?

I remember when my family first got a computer (which was the same year I got my first CD player).  I was in the 8th grade.  Chat rooms were all the rage, and I loved getting in chat rooms and talking to people, mostly boys, about pretty superficial and not-a-good-idea-to-discuss-with-a-stranger-in-a-chat-room topics.  Thankfully I never had any problems, by God's grace.  There was a sort of ease to being able to "chat" without actually having to "talk" to the person.  I could think about what I wanted to say first instead of being put on the spot.  I didn't have to be a good conversationalist.  I could just be a good writer.

Little did we know that it would go from bad to worse over the years.  Now, you can't even print some coupons from sites online without receiving the code via text.  If you use your cell phone for just simply making calls, people look at you like you are from another planet.  If you don't have a cell phone at all (gasp!) you are even more strange!

I know, I know.  There are some good things about all of this.  I agree.  There are some good things about all of this.  There are more ways to connect with others and texting, for example, helps those who otherwise could not communicate at any given moment.  There is much more information and even a sense of community that has been created through Facebook and blogs.  However, I think much of it has gotten out of hand.

There have been times when I was going to meet a friend somewhere, and we had only been communicating via Facebook or email.  When I couldn't find her or was running late I realized that I didn't actually have her phone number.  I had never actually called her.  I felt like a bad friend, actually.  I don't think there is anything wrong with using email to set plans or communicate, but should it be the only way I converse?

There have been other times when I opted to email someone instead of call them because it would be quicker, and I could check it off of my list.  Also I do enjoy being able to keep up with people through Facebook.  Of course, there are times when this is fine, I think.  For example, if I just have a quick question, and it is midnight I think emailing the person instead of calling would be best.  Also there are some friends that you really are never going to have a phone conversation with and you might not see very often.  Facebook comes in handy for this and helps people stay connected at least on some level.

However, I have noticed in myself that it comes down to my motives.  What's going on in my heart?

People are busy.  I get busy.  Face to face conversation is not always an option. Still I just can't help but think that I never want to be too busy to actually pick up the phone and call someone or sit and skype with someone at the very least.  Am I too task-oriented at times to be a good friend and actually talk with another person to hear their voice and understand them more clearly than I probably would if I were just reading their status update?

I really wonder if this next generation has learned how to have a healthy conversation that requires them to thoughtfully produce words on the spot while engaged in dialogue with another human being.  It seems that almost everyone under that age of 25 texts more than any other method of communication.

Are we avoiding each other or perhaps avoiding connecting on a deeper, more emotionally involved level by relying on texting, emailing, Facebook?

Is there a false sense of friendship, community, and belonging that results from this form of relationship?

Furthermore, how does this effect the way I converse with the Lord?

These are some of the questions I have when it comes to the way we interact in our country and world.  Again, there are many good atributes of technology, but still I do prefer the more traditional art of conversation either on the phone, through skype (okay, so that is not really traditional), or in person.

And by the way, I do not have texting.  I don't want to pay for another way for people to not have to call me, and I cannot stand the fact that so many people text while they are driving!  If you text me, it will get lost somewhere among all of the waves that are flowing through our bodies because of all of the wireless connections we cannot escape.  I will not know you texted me, and you will think I don't want to be your friend anymore which is most likely not true. 

What do you think about this?  I would love to hear from others...

End rant.

Refresh Me, Dear Lord

After the move and all that it included, I was feeling the need to be refreshed.  Actually I was feeling that way even before the move, so I was now longing to be refreshed.

It seemed kind of crazy to go on a week-long-family-vacation immediately following a relocation, but the timing became more and more perfect as the departure day neared.  I. needed. a vacation.  So, as the paint was drying and the last box was unpacked, I stayed up late packing suitcases for a road trip to the mountains of West Virginia.

The seventeen hour drive with two little ones was on its way, and my husband began the journey in the driver's seat.  Thankfully I had remembered to go through our CD collection (No, I don't have an iPod or anything like it, and I am okay with that) and pick out a bunch of CDs for us to listen to as we drove to WV and back.  As we started listening and singing along I was reminded of how much I love music.  Music is so very refreshing to me.  Well I guess it depends on the music, but this music was so refreshing to me.  It also brought me back to two other times in my life.

We were listening to Caedmon's Call's 40 Acres, which by the way is one of my all-time favorite albums, and I remembered when I was a new Christian back at the end of high school and beginning of college.  That CD was played so many times as I cruised around in my little black Ford Ranger searching for who I was and who I wanted to be.  I could sing those songs word for word and hum them note for note, and I still never tired of it.

I also thought of my semester in London while I was in college.  It was the fall of 2001, and there was a lot going on in the world.  There was also a lot going on within myself.  I was pretty sure I had met the man of my dreams (I did), I had just been in a bad car wreck (with him) and been obviously protected by the Lord (We totaled my sister's car), I was in another country on the other side of the world away from everyone I was close to, and I was with a group of people that I didn't really know very well, yet.  I grew up there.  What I mean is that I did my growing up there.  As I walked the streets of London either with my friends or alone I could literally feel myself growing up.  By the end of that semester I looked in the mirror at a different woman than the one who first stepped foot on British soil months earlier.  I liked this new woman, and I never could believe that I was actually there.  I had actually done it.  I had ventured way out and learned so much about the world, about God, about myself...  I have such fond memories of that time, and many of them included this same CD playing in my ears as I walked or sat at the park and read or journaled.

Both of these times that came to mind were times in my life where I was maturing, learning, and longing for the Lord's touch.  I was longing for the Lord's touch of refreshment and leading to guide me along His paths for me.  I can only smile when I think of those times when I sensed the Lord doing just that.  His refreshing touch is like wind in a sail or a living breath that fills up the lungs.  I need it.  I must have it.  I can only come to Him to find it.

So here I am again.  Though I am in a much different place than I was back then - over ten years ago - there are still many familiar thoughts and emotions I now realize accompany this time in my life just as they did back then.  A wise mentor of mine years ago encouraged me to not let these cycles of life surprise me.  Instead I must realize what I learned last time and what I missed last time and move on to learn more this time around.  Hopefully these cycles become smaller and quicker as I grow and mature because I recognize them sooner and deal with them more quickly.  In fact these cycles are evidence of God's grace and love in my life and His desire to mature me.

I know how I got here.  I got here by letting my priorities shift just enough to cause inner, and sometimes outer, chaos.  It doesn't take much to rock the boat of order, but I am thankful for that.  Otherwise I may get even more off track before getting uncomfortable again and looking towards my Savior for order and tranquility again.  God is so kind in this.  He carries me toward a sort of holy discontentedness that points again towards my need for Him.  Though I know what I am doing when I neglect my time with Him, I still do it sometimes, and so here I am again - needing His refreshing touch.  Sure I have read scripture, even if just a verse or two, everyday.  I talk with Him everyday, but the quality times of study and prayer have been placed on the back burner lately more often than not.  This doesn't work for long.

Well as we drove and listened and sang along He did refresh me.  He stirred in my heart and my spirit a quiet contentedness and peace and anticipation that can only come from Him.  It's a comfort knowing that He is in control and that I can run to His open arms any time I feel weary - whether it's my own doing or not.  And there He reminds me of His truth that sets me free and brings life.  Then I am again equipped for the day ahead of me.  Then I can carry on again with the strength I need and the resolve to make the most of what He has given me.  Then I can spur others on, as well.  Then I can remember what His word says:

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.  He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes.  He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.  But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."  (Jeremiah 17:5-8)

When I trust in myself I get very thirsty and in need of refreshment, but when I trust in Him, the LORD Almighty, I am satisfied and content able to rest and to bear fruit that glorifies Him.

With only a couple of days left of our trip, I want to be intentional to listen as He directs me and brings me to His refreshing streams.

Are you thirsty today? 

Call on the name of the Giver of Living Water and be refreshed. You'll be glad you did.

Moving On Up: Part 2

After a lot of packing, the actual moving day, and then the unpacking, I crawled out from the rubble of 96 boxes and over 25 pieces of furniture of various sizes moved and realized that I really don’t want to move again for a long time. 

Moving is kind of like child bearing.  It’s really a lot of work, somewhere in the middle you want to quit, there is some pain involved, but in the end it is more worth it than imagined.

I would love more babies in the future, but I do hope to keep the moving down to a minimum.  Having babies is much more fun.

Anyway...

I learned a lot through this process.  I learned a lot about myself, my family, my friends, moving itself, and life in general.

About me, I have learned (perhaps again) that I can be way too consumed by a goal and get very task oriented to a fault.  There are pros and cons to this because, hey, we moved only a week and a half ago and everything is almost all set up.  A few more curtains, frames, cushions, and rugs, and we are done.  Now we can move on from the moving process.  However, my over-ambition can also be detrimental to my family life and health.

My children have gotten pretty restless, especially my older one, because Mommy has been very preoccupied with unpacking and setting the home up every day – day and night.  Of course we did have times of reading together and playing together and eating together, but I really had to focus because my mind kept wandering to what paint color I wanted to use in our bedroom or if I should place two or three plates up on the dining wall for décor.  I really struggled to get to bed at a good time because I just had one or two (or three or four) more boxes that I wanted to unpack before tomorrow.  As a result I was pretty tired a few mornings when my children were up and ready to start the day. 

I don’t know the answer to my question: “Do I push through this and get it done quickly or do I take it a little at a time in order to not put other things and people aside?”  Maybe it’s a little of both?

Also I have been thinking a lot about renting versus owning.  I originally had the idea that we would rent for a couple of years in order to buy again later after saving some money up first.  Now I am not sure I want to move for years.  I’m not sure I mind it if we rent for a decade even.  Seriously.  Why the pressure and mentality that buying is best?  We bought into that (literally) five years ago, and that is why we were stuck in a 1/1.  We didn’t want to “throw away” our money every month in rent.  You know what happened?  We threw our money away every month in a mortgage that we ended up making nothing on.  In fact, we are short and waiting to hear what the bank has to say about that after our sale closes.  Was that worth it?

We absolutely love, love, love our new home.  We are so thankful to be here. 

Now that the dust has settled, I can go to bed much earlier at night, and we hopefully can move on from the moving, I am really looking forward to the future.  I look forward to meeting our neighbors, exploring our area, and enjoying all of this space!  I feel like we live in a mansion after moving from our tiny home.

Another cool thing is that I have totally detached emotionally from our old home.  I have had to go back a few times since, and I am so glad to not be there anymore.  I am thankful for that because I was at first a little sad to have to sell the home where my babies were born (with the help of a midwife). 

As a good friend said, though, “You bring your home with you.  This is just where you lived.”  Now we live in a new place, but our home is one of those things we brought with us when we moved.

Thank You, Lord.  You are so kind to us.  Now, please help us bloom here where you have planted us.  Amen.

Also...I need a vacation.

Moving on Up: Part 1

Five years ago my husband and I thought it was a good idea to buy a 1/1 condo and quit "throwing away our money every month" on rent.  Less than a year and a half later we were blessed with our first child, and we realized that maybe we should have continued renting until we could afford a bigger home.  It was too late, though, and knowing that the Lord allowed the happenings, we made do.

It was actually fun making everything work, and we situated our little one's crib in the bedroom with our bed and her clothes in our closet and the hall closet.  It has been a blessing to have a small home because we have not been able to hang on to a lot of unnecessary stuff.  We have had a lot of yard sales because I am always going through things to get rid of either to make room for new or make some extra cash (or both).

There are so many creative ways to live well in a small home.  We have used a gateleg folding table with the chairs that tuck right inside as our dining table, so that we could make the dining area (a nook really) our daughter's play area (picture below).  We've used the under-the-bed space for storage.  We've maxed out our closet space by using hanging storage.  We've strived to find a place for everything, so our home didn't have to feel as small as it was.

When our second little blessing came along, we rearranged the home again to accommodate.  The bedroom became the children's room, and my husband and I slept on a pull out couch in the living room (first picture below).  After the frame of the couch wore out, we got a great deal on a full-size mattress and box spring set, put it in our living room, and made lots of pillows to make it look like a couch during the day (second picture below).  It's worked wonderfully, even though we have missed having an actual bedroom.

Well, after much prayer and consideration of all options, we put our little condo on the market hoping we could sell it and move on and move in to a better fitting home.  Much to our excitement, we got an offer the day after it was put on the market!  So, praise the Lord, as I write this I am taking a break from packing to move out of our little home and into a home we will be renting that is over twice the size!  We'll have a bedroom again!  We'll have 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, a large kitchen (I love to cook and bake), a patio, a garage, a playground in the community...  Sigh (of gratitude and excitement)...  We are so thankful!

Yesterday, I was praying with one of our daughters.  I was thanking God for this move and our new home and several aspects about it that were exactly what I was asking Him for months ago when praying for a new home for my family.  My lovely little one chimed in with, "And thank you, God, that we will have a playground.  That is so wonderful."  In our condo, we have not had a yard or a nearby playground (although we drive to playgrounds, so she can play with friends), so this is a special treat that we have prayed for!

A bedroom.  A playground.  These are some of those Finer Things in life, and we thank God.

Now, back to packing...

Spring Organizing!

I am a follower of Chirst, a wife, a mom, a business owner, an artist, a dancer, a friend, etc...  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed.  Plus I am going to start homeschooling in the near future.  It is easy to feel overwhelmed at times when I look around at what I have to do, take a glance at my list, and then suddenly hear the baby wake up early from her nap while the toddler is asking me for something.

However, as valid as these feelings of drowning in the sea of my to do's can be, I don't want to stay there. I recognize my God as a God of order.  Just look around and notice how well organized and creative the world is.  There is an order to life, and when the order is lacking it can be pretty chaotic! Almost always, I find that when I get to the point of feeling overwhelmed it is because I don't have things in order.  With closer examination I find that I am:

1.Not spending quality time in prayer and study just to sit quietly to listen and rest in the Lord's presence.

2. Not carefully choosing how I spend my time and letting myself get carried away by something that could have waited or is not important.

3. Taking too much time and energy planning and too little time and energy following through with that plan.

4. Being lazy or unintentional.

5. All of the above.

Well, as they say, "Knowing is half the battle," so now that I know what do I do?

Living in the sub-tropics, the four seasons are not really noticeable.  Really it is either perfect weather, rainy, hot, or really hot.  As a result, I don't really think about "Spring."  I realized this lately when I started seeing all sorts of blogs, advertisements, etc about Spring.  "Oh yeah, I guess it is Spring," I thought.  Many of these spring-themed writings have to do with Spring Cleaning.  I have to admit that I would like to be a better cleaner of my home.  It usually looks nice, but it is not always as clean as I would like. 

I stumbled across this blog post today about an e-book (I don't really like reading books on my computer, so this makes me consider even more saving up for a Kindle) that I think will help me.  It's called 31 Days To Clean and there is even a great giveaway which includes this book and more.  This got me excited and on the path to doing some of my own cleaning in the spring, which involves a whole lot more than just my floors and closets.

So, being the list person that I am (I've just learned to embrace this), I came up with a list to help me get organized with some of the to-do's that really need to-get-done.  Let me say, as well, that this is not a fool proof list and it is not intended to make me or anyone else a supermom (whatever that really means).  Instead this is a list to help me evaluate what I am currently doing, how that is working out, and make the necessary changes to help me better fulfill the purposes God has for me in ways that are most pleasing and glorifying to Him.  This looks different for each one of us, but there are some basic stepping stones:

1. Pray.  Pray.  Pray. - Pray first.  Keep praying.  We have to stay connected to the Source or we will run out of juice.  This is not cliche. 

2. Make a list - Even if you are not a "list person" like me, it helps to make a list of what your responsibilities are and what you want to accomplish.

3. Evaluate this list - What am I spending most of my time doing?  Is this profitable?  Are my priorities in line?  What is stealing me away from what is important?  Be honest with yourself.

4. Make a plan - This has to be a realistic plan with action steps.  How will you accomplish your goal?

5. Do it - Now follow through with your plan.  If it doesn't work, make adjustments and continue on.  Don't get discouraged or expect it all to happen right away.  Change takes time.

Although I do plan on this leading to much more cleaning around here, I plan even more importantly for diligence and discipline to make the most of my time and efforts by His grace and for His glory.  I hope this helps you do the same.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak" (Matthew 26:41).

Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh...Seriously

I am thankful for the fact that my children are very rarely sick.  In fact, they have never had a sick visit to the doctor or taken any medicine.  We are very proactive with our health and especially take care to always take the supplements we love every single day.  As a result, I really don't have much experience with sick children.  I haven't even known what it is like to clean up vomit.  That is until tonight...

As I was getting the children ready for bed my younger one started coughing.  I am not sure what made her cough, but then she began to vomit (forgive the grossness, but this gets better).  I tend to be excitable, and my older daughter usually follows me down that path if I am not careful.  Well, I excitably yelled for her to get me a towel quickly because her sister was throwing up.  I guess I scared her in all of my excitement, the older one that is, because she started to cry and just stand in one place. 

This was not helpful.

I appologized for scaring her, but reminded her that I desperately needed a towel from the bathroom, and she was the only one who could help me (My husband happened to be out with a friend - I can't wait to tell him the story!).  Meanwhile the little one threw up some more. 

Well in comes my older daughter to the rescue with the towel and the towel bar from the bathroom in hand.  Excitable Me says, "Hurry, please!"  Scared Daughter says, "OK!"  Then she doesn't stop in time and slips right into the vomit on the floor!  She was horrified and just remained in the same position in which she fell. 

What did I do?  I just started laughing.  It was not funny.  But it was.  I was so disgusted, but all I could do was laugh as both of my little girls cried - one in horror and one I guess because she just threw up. 

Then I wanted to cry as I cleaned everything up, bathed them, cleaned up more, and thought about how crazy this just was.

Hopefully we will have no more of that going on around here.

After the whole thing died down, I began to think about how much of a stress reliever laughter can be.  Sometimes we just really need to laugh.  Of course, sometimes it could be better saved for a latter time when it is more appropriate, but other times even in the thick of it we just need to let ourselves laugh.  In fact, I am still laughing, and I am sure I will be laughing when I tell my husband about all of this when he comes home.  Thank you, Lord, for laughter!  How would we make it through this life without it?

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven...a time to weep and a time to laugh..." (Ecclesiastes 4:1, 4a).

Ordered

There are two times throughout the year where I feel the most compelled to assess my life:  January and my birthday.  January is already behind us, but I just had a birthday.  Now is the time to look at what is working and what is not.  As a result I have a new "routine" for myself and for my children.

I have come up with ideas and tried to implement them a couple of times throughout the last few months, but I just kept feeling like it was not working out.  Finally I realized that perhaps I was trying to come up with my own plan instead of asking the Lord for His.  Aha!  Why didn't I think of that in the beginning?  Well I think I did think of it, but then maybe I got ahead of Him.  I can be a great planner, but at times I fall short in the actually follow through.  I really dislike this, and I am working on changing that with His help.

So, today was the first day of our new "routine," and I think it went really well.  I am calling it a routine because some flexibility is not only needed, but also desired.  I have small children, and life does not always fall in line anyway, so flexibility is a great motto.  I want my children to learn to be responsible and diligent in ordering their responsibilities, but also flexible and adaptable when God has other plans.  Otherwise it is all too easy to get bent out of shape when someone calls or comes to the door or needs more from me/us/etc then the plan alloted.  This is why I say "routine" and not "schedule."

I wrote out all that I have on my proverbial plate, picked which to do when, put in place the things that are always the same, and built from there.  I don't want to miss anything, so this was very helpful to me.  I am a list person anyway, so it was actually quite refreshing (don't laugh).  I prayed before, during, and after, because I really want this to be a plan that works for all of us according to what the Lord has in mind.  I also wanted my husband to approve - after all it is my joy to call him my "boss."

As a result, today was a day filled with prayer for our church, devotions - alone and with each other, exercise, play, learning, reading, eating a handful of times, cleaning, laundry, naps for the little ones, helping out a friend, phone calls, writing, and blogging.  Now I actually have time to relax with my husband and get to bed at a good time (I have been staying up way too late!).  I am very thankful and very excited.

I am so incredibly thankful that God is so ordered.  Look at everything around you.  Everything He made is so ordered and so creative.  I can see how refreshing it is to have order, as well.  I know we won't always have days that are ordered.  This is actually good at times because we grow through those not-so-ordered and not-at-all-ordered times.  However, on the rest of the days, I really desire to be a good steward of my time and efforts and fulfill the roles given to me by a God of order who longs for me to enjoy every moment of life and the precious ones He has placed in it.

Thank You, Lord.

Hopefully this plan of order will work...until the next time I need to change it.

Beating Laziness into Submission

Sheesh.  I am kind of embarassed to write this one, and it may even turn out to be a "to be continued" post because this is a work-in-progress in my own life.

Over the last couple of years I have realized something about myself that I do not like at all.  I do not like it, yet I still struggle with it from time to time.  I see so clearly now what it is and why it must be changed, by God's grace.  You see, I have a tendancy to become lazy.  I am not talking about "resting" or taking a break.  I am talking about being lazy.  There is certainly a time to rest.  There is certainly a time to just sit back and relax.  We really need that as a matter of fact.  However, this is not what I am talking about. 

Lazy - 1. Resistent to work or exertion; disposed to idelness. 2. Slow-moving; sluggish; a lazy river.  3. Conducive to idleness or indolence (habitual laziness;sloth).

This is not the way I would like to be described, and perhaps most people wouldn't describe me this way.  Besides I do accomplish quite a bit in a day's work, and I seem to have a lot going on to keep me busy.  How can I be lazy?  Well, like everything else, it is a heart issue.

Proverbs 13:4 states, "The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied."

I take turns with myself being the sluggard and the diligent.  As much as I know that life is a series of ups and downs, I do not feel that I am living to my full potential in Christ.  There are going to be times when I slip up and become a sluggard, but for right now it is all too often.  Furthermore, this can negatively impact each aspect of my life: my spiritual health, my emotional well-being, my parenting, my submission to my husband, my business, my hobbies, etc.  All of these catagories really come down to this:

When I am walking in laziness, I am not fully submitting to the Lord.

How do I know this is true?  It's a slow creep that takes place.  First I get lazy with my time in prayer and Bible study.  Then I get lazy in putting to death the sinful nature in order to not let any sin reign or influence me.  Then I let the sin I failed to get rid of take me down one path that leads to another and so on.  For me, this might not lead to what we would call a huge sin or life changing bad decision, but it always lead to disobedience.  Disobedience to the LORD is never good.  It always leads to trouble because the Lord, in His graciousness, longs for me to come back to Him.  He will only let me go so far before He draws me back to Himself because I have been bought with the blood of Jesus.  I am His.  If I am not careful and I let this go for too long in my own heart, the drawing back process will be nothing short of painful.  Why not strive to avoid even getting there in the first place?  But how?

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one get the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.  They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.  No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified" (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).

Strict training.  Not running aimlessly or beating the air.  Beating my body into submission.  Now, this is not physically beating my body or "beating myself up" emotionally that Paul is promoting here.  This is about deciding to take action.  It's about deciding to submit to the Lord and walk according to His ways.

I see and hear so many complaining and grumbling about their situation or circumstances that have come about in their lives.  Many of these complaints are valid and unfortunate, but what are you going to do about it?  Why are so many of us complainers who, at the end of the day, have done nothing to change the situation?  This is laziness, and though nothing is new under the sun (according to Ecclesiastes), do you see how much of this is going around?  Many in our country and many in the church in our country specifically have grown quite comfortable with lazy.  Of course I am generalizing.  There are many people to whom I look up with admiration and motivation to pick myself up and get diligent instead of lazy.  Nevertheless, there is much growth to be had in this area.

In the study, "Lord I Want to Know You," by Kay Arthur she states:

"We want salvation, but not warfare."

I'm talking about the warfare that comes as the battle between the flesh and the spirit rages on (see Galatians 5:16,17).  We relish, and rightly so, in the salvation that comes from the LORD, but we often would rather not get involved in the spiritual warfare that continues afterwards.  It's difficult sometimes.  It's difficult a lot of times, but who said we wouldn't have difficulty?  In fact, quite the opposite was said by Jesus:

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

So how did I get to the topic of spiritual warfare when I started out talking about my own laziness at times? 

This is a battle.  It was a battle that Joshua led the Israelites in down in the valley of Rephidim in Exodus 17 as Aaron and Hur helped Moses hold up the rod of the LORD up on the hill above.  When Moses held up the rod, the Israelites were winning, but when he got tired and lowered it, they were losing. 

I must fight the battle in the valley, and Jesus Himself, the mediator of the New Covenant, is on top of that hill with His arms raised in intercession for me 24/7 (see Hebrews 7:25).  And He does not grow tired or weary (see Isaiah 40:28-31).  I have victory because of Him.  It is His battle because I am His child.  Hallelujah!

As I strive to fight the good fight (see 2 Timothy 4:7), I realize that apart from Him, I can do nothing (see John 15:5).  I need His help.

I have noticed that when I chose to seek the Lord and be diligent, more diligence follows.  When I am careful to protect my prayer time and Bible study time, I find that I am more likely to exercise, take care of myself, be a better wife and mother, and take action in my business.  God rewards my diligence. 

So please, if you know me personally, keep me accountable and in prayer regarding this.  I want to be diligent for God's glory.  And I want to encourage others to do the same.  Obedience and submission to the Lord is such a sweet place to reside, and it takes an intentional choice to stay there.

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty" (Proverbs 14:23).

Here's to being a doer and not just a talker.  To God be the glory!

A Ring with Great Significance

Almost eight years ago I married my wonderful husband, and I am very thankful for him.  He is a great husband and father and a sweet friend to me, too.  When he proposed to me, he gave me a ring that I would have picked out myself.  It was literally exactly what I would have asked for, and he never asked me.  He always says that the Lord brought it right to him because he almost bought another one.  The truth is, I would've gladly accepted anything he gave me to wear on my ring finger because I was, and still am, smitten with him.

Less than a year and a half after we married I went to Thailand on a mission trip with a Christian organization.  We arrived there two months after the huge and devastating tsunami that hit there and all over Southeast Asia December 2004.  After an incredible time in the mainland of Thailand rejoicing with so many vibrant and beautiful Thai women who loved the Lord, we traveled to the lower part of the country that was directly hit by the tsunami.  There we were encouraging the Thai people who were working tirelessly to minister and aid the people who were affected.

It was a drastic contrast to be in the lower part of the country and meet the people we were meeting there compared to where we had just come from in the mainland.  I found myself thinking of the verse in Romans in the Bible that reads, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15).  My question for God was, "How do I mourn with these people?"  I understood what it was to rejoice with the women in the mainland, though they experienced hard times in their lives, as well.  But I was completely at a loss as to how to mourn with these people.  I met a woman who was about my age, married, and pregnant.  Well she was.  Her husband died in the tsunami, and she miscarried as a result of almost losing her own life in the waters.  As a result, she now had a much harder challenge as a widow in a village she had married into.  "How do I mourn with her, Lord?"  How could I?

A few hours after asking that question, I went reluctantly for a swim with another lady.  We were swimming in an inlet of the Indian Ocean.  The people there told us that around 300 people died in those very waters.  It was sobering.  We waded in the water, and I was playing with my wedding ring because there was sunblock on it.  Suddenly, it slipped off of my finger and into the water! 

I could go on and on with details, but what happened over the next few minutes was one of the most intense moments with my Savior that I have ever experienced.  It wasn't because of a valuable piece of precious metal given to me by my loving husband.  It was because of the question I had asked earlier that day.  So many people had lost their loved ones in those very waters, and now I had lost the most important material possession there.  My loss no where near compared to theirs, but I began to see their loss a little more personally.  We looked for the ring, we prayed for the people who still had not found their loved ones, we sat and prayed for them and looked around imagining that day when the waters came in, and we felt an outpouring of God's love for the people there.  We felt His love for us, too.  What a real moment of clarity.  We got up to look for the ring again along the shore, just in case.  Then I heard the Lord say, "It's gone.  Let it go."

Later that evening after sharing all of this with the Thai people with whom we were serving, I read in my Bible through First Peter chapters 1 and 2.  I had read chapters 3,4, and 5 that morning, and I hadn't understood why I intentionally skipped the first two chapters.  That night I understood why. 

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:6,7, emphasis mine). 

I had found a little way to mourn with that woman.  The Lord was increasing my faith and my love for people and for Him as a result.

I had to relay this story to my poor husband during a 3 minute phone call on a calling card from Thailand to the USA.  I prayed that the Lord would help him with this considering he didn't have such a profound experience like I did.  He had chosen not to renew the insurance for it just a month earlier.  It was really gone.

Time passed after returning home and sporting my $22 silver band another woman on the trip bought for me at the LAX airport on the way home was good enough for me.  I had thought about getting another diamond at some point, but I had learned about the common oppression that can come with the diamond industry in other countries (specifically Sierra Leone, Africa) and decided against it.  I instead paired the band with another band given to my husband for me by a sweet lady at the church where he worked when we met.

Several years have passed since then, and recently I was thumbing through a catalog someone gave me.  There was a sale on a very cool wedding ring set!  For just $25 I could get a lovely, vintage-looking ring and band.  They are sterling silver with a cubic zirconia stone.  My husband said he would get it for me for my birthday, which is coming up.  After getting it sized, it is now on my finger!  Can you believe I have a new ring for under $60!  I wish we would have looked for something like this back before we got married, but then again, what a rich experience it was to have lost something so valuable on that beach in those waters at that time.

I just wanted to share this story.  I have been thinking about it so much lately because of the new ring.  God is so amazingly personal.  His heart is to show us His heart.  What a love He has for me, for you, for the people He created!  Unfathomable.  Sometimes I find myself holding on to what I think is valuable.  I hold on to what I think is mine, when the truth is that it has just been entrusted to me for a time.  That time could be a long time, or it could be a short time.  My responsibility is being faithful with what has been entrusted to me and using that time well.  He always has a purpose.

Thailand and the people there will always have a special place in my heart.  Thank You, LORD.

I have included these pictures to show you the rings.  :)  The first picture is courtesy of Paul Careccia Photography and was taken on my wedding day.  The second is the one I had after Thailand, and the third is my new one.