Intentionality in Taking Care of Yourself




Flat Stanley Getting His Veggies On

  Hey, who loves to work out, eat right, and get enough sleep?  I do, but it doesn't always happen.  If you go to a mall and sit for ten minutes watching the people who walk by you can see that it doesn't always happen in the lives of others, either.  Why not?

I think it comes down to a combination of a few possible reasons:

1. Ignorance
2. Busyness
3. Laziness
4. It seems too hard and overwhelming.
5. Guilt

Any of these strike a chord?  I think I have spent time with each of these possibilities as one time or another, but what I have found over the years is that I don't have a choice.  Well I do actually have a choice to either take care of myself or not, but really if I want to live well is there really a choice?

So if the desire is there, where does one start?  I think that dealing with the ignorance part will help with the rest of it.  I suggest starting with the food you eat.  Do you look at the ingredients in the foods you buy?  Start with one or two ingredients that you want to get away from.  My suggestion: Work on cutting out high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oils.

High fructose corn syrup, despite the catchy ads, is a chemically altered sweetener that is in a lot of foods.  Your body uses it and responds differently to it than natural sweeteners such as raw, unfiltered honey.  Less refined sugars such as evaporated cane juice, turbinado, and natural sweeteners such as honey, or natural maple syrup, stevia, and rebiana (there are others, too) are much better.  Actually my company has a great natural sweetener which you can check out here.

If there are hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oils in a food, then there is also trans fat.  Trans fat is no good for the heart, and to put it in the words of a professor my cousin studied under, "I'd rather smoke a pack of cigarettes than eat something that has trans fat in it."  That should speak volumes.

So what do you do?  Your favorite snacks and foods have those two items in them!  Have no fear, there are so many healthier options out there that often even taste like the foods you love - and sometimes even better.  Example: Do you love Wheat Thins?  For years they have had high fructose corn syrup in them.  I love Back To Nature's Crispy Wheats.  They taste even better and have healthier ingredients.  And as a bonus, they are even cheaper!

Did you know that even 20 minutes a day of good exercise is beneficial?  Can you go for a walk?  Can you get a Zumba or Pilates DVD and pop it in for 20 minutes?  It takes actually taking action and forming this into a habit to make it a part of your life.  It's so worth it!  You don't have to join a gym.

It amazes me what type of foods people eat and how little care they take of themselves mostly because they just don't know there is another way that is actually easier and affordable.  You have to be your own advocate when it comes to what you put into your body because there is a lot of junk for sale.

Maybe it's busyness that is the problem.  I know I get busy sometimes with life and neglect working out or getting adaquate sleep.  Again it takes having a plan and being disciplined to stick with it.  Also realize that it takes time to establish a habit.  If you work on establishing a habit everyday for a month, you probably will have it as a part of your routine by the end of that month.  I always include "exercise" on my to-do list, so that I can remember to do it and cross it off when I am done.

Many people argue that it takes time to cook healthier meals for their family.  Sure, this is probably true.  However, with proper planning you can make it work for you.  For example, if you carve out a little time each day to take care of prep work, such as chopping veggies for the next day, you can save some time the next.  Even more so, I have found that making a flexible meal plan helps tremendously.  Each week I sit down and write out what will be for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks for every day of that coming week.  Sometimes I change my mind about what I wrote down, but for the most part it helps avoid the "What am I going to make for dinner?" scenario.  Planning this out can save a lot of time!  For me, it eliminates the wandering around aimlessly looking between the fridge and the pantry trying to pull something together at 5:30.  It's too easy to just give up and order in or make something far less nutritious when you don't already have a plan in place.  There is a great little book called, How to Take the Hassle Out of Homemaking, by Rena Stronach that offers some great advice.  I highly recommend it!

And if you are too busy to get enough sleep perhaps you should look at your schedule and see what you can cut back or cut out.  Sleep is so much more important than people realize or maybe want to believe.  It seems more convenient to just have an extra cup of coffee than get the full amount of sleep required to function optimally.  God made us to need sleep - really 1/3 of each day (at night) should be spent sleeping.  Your body does the most repairing during the hours of sleep.  Plus you just can't function well when you are tired.  So get some sleep, will ya?!  And by the way, for more insight into caffeine, check out Caffeine Blues, by Stephen Cherniske.

Laziness can be another cause of failing to take care of oneself.  I've talked about laziness before, and it seems to be a big problem in our society in particular.  Laziness is also a characteristic of our fallen human nature because it is rooted in selfishness.  Laziness affects others, too.

"If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks." (Ecclesiastes 10:18)

If it is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is holding you back, making a plan is a solution for this, as well.  Also realize that you don't have to change everything at one time.  Pick one or two things to change at a time and work on that.  It will get easier as you add one or two changes at a time.  Don't get overwhelmed by the big picture.  Just take a step at a time.

I have found that often with moms, but also with others, there is a feeling of guilt associated with the idea of self-care.  My mother will tell you that she did this for years.  She took care of everyone else and not herself.  I think that had to do with not realizing that she was just as important as everyone else and maybe she felt guilty about taking time for herself.  Thankfully she made a significant change and started taking care of herself in a big way.  One of the ways she has done that was by losing at least 50lbs!  It took time, but I am so proud of her.  She has a lifestyle that has helped her live better, and I know she will continue.

Maybe guilt comes in the form of "I never stick with it," or "I've let myself get this far gone."  Don't beat yourself up.  It doesn't do any good.  Instead, make a plan.  Start with learning more about one aspect of taking better care of yourself.  If you know someone who is good at doing this, ask them questions.  Take one step at a time, and if you fail to follow through one day, wake up the next day with a second chance.  No one is perfect. 

I long to see this taken more seriously within the church (all followers of Christ).  We are called to be set apart as holy unto the LORD.  Again, we are not going to be perfect.  I think we can do much better though.  It's starts with me.  I need God's help to be disciplined and intentional.

I'll recommend one more resource here.  I love the book, What Would Jesus Eat?, by Dr Don Colbert.  I found it very helpful and will read it again.

The next two things I am going to work on to make changes in order to take better care of myself are:

1. Going to bed earlier, so I can get up before my children...
2. Snack on more veggies instead of carbs (I have found myself filling up with more carbs than I need lately)...

I hope this encourages you.  What are you going to start with next?  Leave a comment.  I would love to hear, and you never know, you might encourage someone else.

Intentionality in Prayer

Let me first say that when I am saying prayer, what I am meaning is praying to God Almighty in the name of Jesus.  People throw the word prayer around quite a bit.  Some people even add that they will be keeping you in their thoughts and prayers.  While I don't really understand what that means, I do want to talk more about prayer.

How important to you is prayer?

Is prayer the first idea you have when you think of how to start your day or how to gain insight or help in a situation? 

Prayer is the most significant tool given to us by the LORD Himself.  Are you using that tool?  Am I?

I have had times in my life when my prayer muscles were so strong that I could go on in times of prayer for a good hour or more.  In fact, I had about a year in my life where I had one day a week devoted to prayer from morning to evening before dinner.  I would start out by listening and singing along to praise and worship music, move on to thanking the Lord, confessing any sins, bringing Him my requests for myself and for others, journaling, and just sitting and listening to Him.  I would also include times of studying the Bible and walking around my neighborhood praying for my neighbors and the people I saw while I was walking.

Those were really good days!

Other times in my life, I have laid my head on the pillow at night and thought, "Did I really even talk to the Lord much today?"  Sure I rarely fail to remember to thank Him for my food, and now with children there are times throughout the day that we pray, but some days I have not made the time to really sit and visit with the One who not only created me but also has set me free from the bonds of sin and death through my redemption in Jesus Christ. 

You may be thinking, "But when?  I don't have time to sit and do anything!" 

Yes you do.  You are probably busy, and that is a valid point, but you do have time.  Time is rarely the issue when it comes to what is important.  The issue is lack of intentionality.  If you have been with me for a while, you know that this is something I have been writing about.  Let's review the definition of intentional:

Intend: To have in mind; plan
Intention: A course of action that one intends to follow.  An aim that guides action; an objective
Intentional: Done deliberately

And furthermore, what I have found is that being intentional about anything is a matter of habit.  A habit is formed when a decision is made to do something over and over again.  Eventually a habit it formed, and that action becomes a part of life almost without having to think about it as much.  There is still the need to continue in that habit, if it is a good one, but the amount of thought necessary to continue is not as much as it was before the habit was formed.

Simply put, when you focus on making prayer a habit, it becomes one that is more easily made a part of your life.  Then the focus is on keeping it a habit and growing all the more in maturity and skill, so to speak, of that habit.

Then there is the question: How do I pray?

This is a great question to ask.  Prayer can seem intimidating at times, and in some ways that is not so bad.  After all, if the intimidation is coming from a place of humility and reverence for the LORD God Almighty, then that is not a bad place to start.  However, the LORD wants to have a relationship with you that is one of freedom and honesty.  He sees our hearts.  If prayer is a time when I am motivated by the desire to impress others with my wordcrafting or Bible knowledge, then my heart is not seeking to glorify my Lord in prayer.  On the other hand, He knows when I truly just want to open up to Him and seek His will and praise Him through prayer.

Prayer is simply a conversation.  It involves talking and listening.  Most of us are pretty skilled at talking.  Listening is sometimes harder.  There are so many ways to engage in conversation with the LORD.  I like to mix it up, so I can stay in the habit and discipline of praying daily and throughout the day.  Sometimes I journal, which helps me to focus on writing out my prayers (the talking part) and writing out what God says to me through the Bible and with His voice (the listening part).  Sometimes I have a bulletin board that I can look at with pictures and verses on it to help me focus as I pray.  Other times I have a little flip index card book to help me stay on track.  Walking has helped me focus on praying at times.  Talking out loud, if I can, is often helpful to me because it is easier for me to not get sidetracked or even fall asleep (raise your hand if that has happened to you - I've done it). 

There are so many ways to make prayer a part of daily life. 

Let's not forget that praying with others is also a very needed aspect of our Christianity.  People need people.  We just do.  We need each other.  Prayer is such a bonding activity if we let it become a part of our lives and a part of our relationships.  This can be very uncomfortable at times, and honestly there are some people that I don't feel comfortable praying with.  For example, I am very careful to not pray alone with a man who is not my husband.  There may be rare times when this is appropriate or an immediate need, but still discernment is required. This is because prayer is a bit of a pouring out of one's heart and soul in the presence of another.  It is intimate.

Being intentional about prayer can also open many doors.  For example, when you go out to eat at a restaurant tell the server you are going to pray before you eat, and ask them how you can pray for them.  I love doing this.  It's such an unexpected gesture of care and concern and almost always the server delightedly and thankfully responds with a request.  I have even made friendships this way with servers because many times they come back to share more or they want us to sit in their section the next time we come.  What a great way to show others that God cares about them.  What a great way to show our chidren that we can be about the business of loving others and of sharing God with others even while dining out among strangers.

In my encounters with fellow Christians in or from other nations I have witnessed wholehearted, unashamed, and faith-filled prayer that humbled me, convicted me, inspired me, and challenged me.  Why do I let the distractions of my surroundings keep me from such joy and such power when this free and amazing gift is available to all who call on Him? 

Sure if may take work.  It may not be easy, and it may not even be fun at times.  But isn't connecting directly with the Giver of Life worth the effort?  I do pray that the LORD will help His people be intentional in prayer and fight the good fight before His holy throne.

How will you become more intentional with prayer?  Why not start now?

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 14:6)

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:12)

Intentionality in Parenting

*This post is not meant to cover all topics thouroughly when it comes to parenting, but I hope that at least we will be more deliberate in thinking through our actions and how they impact our children.* 

In no way will any of us ever be perfect parents, but why not strive each day to be much better than we already are?  Only through the grace my Lord gives me can I be anything good.  I pray that as I parent, I will be lead by Him to be the best mommy I can be, for His glory.

We have to be intentional when it comes to parenting.  Our children will be parented whether we are trying or not.  The question is will it be good parenting or not so good parenting?

I've been thinking about this a whole lot lately as my husband and I work, by God's grace and with His help, to subdue our children's wills.  Our aim to subdue their wills stems from our understanding of what the Bible teaches about man (humans), God, and our role as parents.  We want our children to grow up to be mature, respectful, self-controlled adults who love the One True God and love others.  This doesn't just happen.  It takes a lot of work, a lot of prayer, a lot of sacrifice, and a lot of intentionality.

When I think about parenting there are reasons that I rejoice and reasons that I mourn. 

I rejoice because I love being a parent.  I love my children.  I love seeing my husband as their dad.  I love the many lessons I have learned about myself.  I love how much I learn about the LORD and about people through my children.  There is so much to love, and there are so many reasons I am thankful that the LORD has blessed me with children.  I also rejoice as a child because I love my parents, too!

On the other hand, I mourn for all of the children that are neglected, abused, mistreated, disrespected, unloved, and otherwise harmed by their parents either intentionally or unintentionally.  I also mourn for the women and men who long to have children, but for some reason are not able to have them.  I also mourn for the many who have lost their children one way or another.

But what about the parents who do love their children and don't know how to parent them?

There are so many misconceptions about children, parents, and their roles.  Especially in this country we have seemingly lost our way when it comes to parenting.  Look around and think about the rise in crime, lack of respect for authority, lack of concern for others, lack of reverence for God Almighty...  Could this be a direct result of how these now adults were parented?  This could be a frightening thought if you have small children or at least children who still live under your roof! 

Unfortunately I see a profound uncertainty, lack of understanding, and lack of biblical wisdom in many parents.  Children, instead of parents, are leading the homes!  Equally unfortunate, I see this in the church and outside of the church.  Since many people who do not consider themselves "in the church" most likely will not be as interested in what the Bible says about parenting, I guess I am more directly speaking to those of us who are following Christ (however all are welcome to read on - I hope you do).  We should care about what the Bible says about everything.  We should care about what the Bible says about parenting.

So why the lack of understanding?  Why is there such a waffling among many Christians when it comes to how to train up a child?  I see two possibilities:

1. Lack of knowledge about what the Bible says about parenting
2. Lack of submission to the LORD and to what He says about parenting in the Bible

Let's face it, there is not a real common knowledge about what the Bible says about any given topic (though there should be!), so it is not very surprising that we are falling short here, especially in the church.  It amazes me how clear God is and yet how ignorant we can be.

Are you listening to the world when it comes to parenting or are you listening to the LORD?  He is Father God, and He knows all about what I need as a mom and what my children need.  Furthermore, I have been entrusted with these children, and I will be held accountable.

I need to ask myself a few questions on a regular basis to keep me focused on intentionality in parenting:

1. Am I making sure I spend time with the LORD in study of the Bible and in prayer?

This must happen!  There is no negotiating here.  I am simply a better mom (and better everything) when I am actively and intentionally seeking the LORD.  Just ask my children.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts." (Deuteronomy 6:5,6)

2. Am I (and my husband, too) teaching our children what we learn from the LORD?

"Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (Deuteronomy 6:7-9)

3. Am I seeking to change (and asking the LORD to change) only the behavior of my children, or am I seeking change in their hearts?

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7b)

Great behavior is good.  It is desired.  However, I don't want my child to exhibit good behavior and still have a heart bent towards her own selfish desires.  How will she learn to obey her Lord if she cannot obey me?

4. Am I not only learning the truth but also living it out and basing my decisions on biblical truth instead of misguided lies?

Here is where some basic foundational truths are needed.  In order to be the best parent I can be, I have to know and continually seek to discern truth from lie.

"Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth." (John 17:17 - Jesus praying for all believers)

5. Am I thinking long term or short term?

This usually is a question I ask when I am tempted to not follow through with much needed discipline or quite frankly I am being selfish myself.  My children need me to train them (of course my husband trains them right alongside me, but for simplicity I am speaking only for myself here).  When I would rather pretend to ignore misbehavior or deal with something that needs immediate attention later because I am in the middle of something (like writing a blog on intentionality in parenting) I am only considering the short term implications of what disobedience leads to and not the fact that her will is going to be stronger if I do not help her say "No" to her selfish nature now and chose the right way.

Yeah, this is not easy.  Did you really think parenting would be easy?  But it is indeed not only necessary, but also it's my job!  I don't like it when I have to discipline my children because it is uncomfortable many times.  However, if I do not do my job, according the the LORD's standards and in love, then I am not really concerned about helping my children grow up to be mature, respectful, and self-controled adults who love God and love others. 

When someone tells me that they don't believe in spanking their children I like to ask them, "How's that working for ya?"  There is definitely a right and a wrong way to discipline children, so please don't get those confused.  However, when we shy away all together from proper, biblical discipline, we are actually allowing our children (and further helping them) to become more selfish, less likely to obey the LORD (or anyone) and more likely to end up in danger (spiritually and/or any other way).

"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." (Proverbs 13:24)

"My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in." (Proverbs 3:11,12)

6. Am I being a good example?

Ever hear a parent say, "Do as I say, not as I do?"  It doesn't work that way, does it?  Sometimes, we as parents are not actually saying this phrase, but our actions are speaking it loudly.  I think we certainly need to be transparent with our children and honest when we make a mistake.  They need to see our repentant hearts that seek to obey the LORD, so they know by example what that looks like.  Even in small things, I want to be a good example.  For example, we require our older daughter to make her bed without being asked when she wakes up in the morning and after her afternoon nap.  What does it communicate if my husband and/or I don't make our bed?  I want to be real and honest and follow through with what is right, as I desire my children to do likewise.

7. Are my children seeing me love and honor my husband?

What security and peace comes when a child sees her parents loving and honoring each other according to biblical truth.  Perhaps this is one of the reasons why in Proverbs 31:28,29 we read, "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'"

Parenting is a very serious and extremely important job, and we must treat it this way.  There will always be more to learn and our children will have different struggles than each other, just like adults.  Only intentional parenting, God's way, can lead to the outcome He desires - hearts fully devoted to Him.  This is the very best that I can offer my children.  Why would I want laziness, apathy, or anything else to keep me from giving this gift to them and training them to live according to what is right and true?

I really believe that parenting can be more enjoyable than what the average parent in America is experiencing.  It's start with being intentional as parents, and it starts today.

Some resources I strongly recommend:
Child Training Tips: What I Wish I Knew When My Children Were Young, by Reb Bradley
Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp
Doorposts

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

Intentionality in Relationships

As the years go by I have realized more and more how important it is to be intentional.  Otherwise before I know it I have totally neglected something or someone important.  I really hate when I do this.  I want to be a person who doesn't just think of calling someone and then lets life, as they say, get in the way.  I want to be the one who does call because I believe that the thought that came through my mind regarding that person was put there for a reason.  Why then do I often let those opportunities slip away?  I realize that I will never be able to never miss an opportunity because I am going to fail from time to time.  Still there has to be a better way than the societal norm.  Right?

My husband and I are going through a marriage Bible study right now at church with a small group of other couples.  We read the book we are going through and answer the study guide questions throughout the week and then join the group for a video segment and discussion.  As I pondered my own thoughts and listened to the others share theirs, I realized again just how important it is to be intentional in relationships!  Dare I say that the quality of a relationship comes down to intentionality?

Let me explain.

Intend: To have in mind; plan
Intention: A course of action that one intends to follow.  An aim that guides action; an objective
Intentional: Done deliberately

This is not just true for marriage, but I see the threads of this running throughout every relationship in my life.  My relationship with the Lord, with my husband, with my children, with my family, with my friends, with the lady scanning my groceries at the store, and even with anyone reading this post only grow when I deliberately follow through with my aim, my course of action.

So I guess the first step needed to determine ways I can be intentionally building my relationships is to examine each one and determine my aim.  How do I view this relationship?  What are my actions communicating - Do they show this person that I value him/her and our relationship or do they show this person otherwise?

When I am intentional in my relationship with the Lord, I am sure to make time for studying the Bible, praying, listening to Him, and keeping the communication open and continuous.  The result is then always a greater ability to be intentional in my other relationships, as well.  This is because the Lord is the one who fills my cup, so that His love can overflow onto others.

When I am intentional with my husband, I am more concerned about making his lunch for work the next day than checking my email.  I am more concerned with listening to him talk about his concerns and needs and coming alongside him as his help mate in every way possible.  I am more concerned with showing him how much I love him everyday through usually simple little ways.  This only nourishes and deepens our relationship continually over time.

When I am intentional with my children, I am sure to instill truth into their little hearts by taking time to read and play and teach and laugh and hug and kiss them.  I am more concerned with holding my older daughter when she "just feels sad," or picking up my little one when she just seems to want to lay her head on my shoulder.  I want to hear my children out and show them they truly are a blessing from the Lord (see Psalm 127).  Focusing on being intentional helps me remember this.

When I am intentional with my friendships and family relationships I remember to call them to see how they are doing.  I remember to write a quick email or message on Facebook to say "Hey."  When I am striving to be intentional I am better at thinking about these precious relationships and making plans to get together and invest in them.  Am I doing all of the talking when with others or am I asking them questions and listening more (my husband is SO great at this, and I long to be!)?  As a result, these relationships can grow into deeper and abiding friendships.

When I am intentional in taking time to make even the slightest difference in the life of someone I may only encounter for a few minutes at a time (or ever), I am more likely to not be consumed with only myself.  I am more likely then to think of others, too.  Perhaps even I can be a blessing then to that cashier at the grocery store and see the Lord use my intentionality for eternal purposes.

I even want to be intentional with my relationship with my readers.  This means taking time to think and pray about what I would like to write and discuss with you.  Otherwise, you probably won't come back to visit, and our relationship will not continue for very long.

Without the will and drive to be intentional in my relationships, I end up finding myself feeling alone.  It doesn't usually happen all of a sudden.  No, the withering of relationships happens over time like the withering of a flower.  When we don't water the flower and make sure it has food and good soil, it eventually withers and even dies. 

Some of my relationships have died in the past because of improper care.  Sure, the phone does ring both ways, and they could have reached out to me, as well.  However I can only be responsible for my end.  Furthermore, the point is not to just give up on the withered flower because sometimes flowers can be brought back to being vibrant again with a little tender loving care.

Oh how much I still have to learn, and oh how much I long to implement all of what I just wrote.  It takes time, and...a plan.  So here is my plan:

1. Seek the Lord in prayer first thing in the morning - even if only for a few minutes - and then more throughout the day through prayer and studying the Bible.
2. Have a list and a game plan for the day - allowing for unexpected times that require me to be flexible.
3. List ways I can show my husband and my children how much I love them, and act accordingly with at least one special way each day.  If I don't know, ask them.
4. When I think of someone, write down their name in a little notebook.  Then pray for that person, and take some action to invest in them in some way.
5. Ask questions during conversations with others to learn more about them.  Am I talking too much and not listening enough?    

Communicate with others.  Be real.  Ask for forgiveness and forgive others.

There are many responsibilities each of us have in life.  Those are real, and we don't need to appologize for having them.  However I seem to get an allergic twitch when I hear someone say, "I know you are busy..." to me.  I understand what they mean, but at the same time I don't want to be too busy for relationships.  After all, relationships are the only thing I can take with me into eternity, and my relationship with Jesus is the only reason for that!

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humililty consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3,4, emphasis mine).

And what about our own interests?  Well that is for another post.

Intentionality in Daily Life

This week I was again struck with this truth: We have to be intentional.  General speaking the ideas I have, relationships with those in my life, good rearing of children, my health and the health of my husband and children, my business, the laundry, etc do not get taken care of on their own.  Hey, sometimes I wish they would, but the truth is it takes being intentional.

I am working with my older child on establishing chores for her to do.  From there we will build on this foundation and give her more or different ones as she gets older and her younger sister is old enough to begin with her chores.  She is very resistent.  It has taken lots of talks and discipline for her to realize that this is part of being a family.  We all have roles that are important in maintaining the harmony in our home, but beyond that these roles also teach us how to relate to others and fulfill our God-given purposes throughout life.  Can learning to make her bed, clean up her toys, and put some silverware away really be that important? 

Yes.  You see, her common protest is, "I just don't want to."  I usually reply with reminding her in some way that there are going to be many times she will not want to do something that she is required to do.  There are a lot of times I have to do things I do not want to do.  This is a part of life, and we have to learn to press through these times.  How much sweeter the things we do love to do are when we have been responsible and taken care of even the things we don't enjoy but must do. 

But this is a choice.  We have to choose to be intentional.  Perhaps you have made a New Year's resolution to "get healthier" or "lose weight" or "start exercising."  How are you doing with that?  What makes you continue to do it?  What makes you fall off the wagon in that goal?  We have to choose to be intentional.  Why do so many aim to take care of themselves only to feel guilty and knocked down when they don't follow through?  Often it is because we don't have a plan and/or we make the choice to not follow through with that plan.

Have you heard the phrase, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail?"  I have come to grips with that fact that many cliches are actually true.  I know it can be hard to admit that sometimes, but seriously think about it.  When I have had a plan of action, followed through with it, and then accomoplished my goal it is so encouraging, so invigorating, so thrilling!  However there have been many other times that I wanted to do something, but just kind of threw myself out there without a real plan.  Failure was usually the outcome in those instances.  Or even if I didn't fail, the process of pressing through was much more difficult.  There was no order or everything was a mess or it was as if I were trying to push a car up a hill in the snow with no gloves and no snow shoes (There were many cliches I could have put here, but I decided instead to make up my own - lame, I know).

Now, I must mention that sometimes we do make plans and we still fail.  Yes, yes.  This is also a part of life, isn't it.  I don't like those times, but I know there is always a reason and a lesson in the face of these failures.  As a recovering perfectionist, the idea of failure would paralyze me.  I would much rather just not be intentional as opposed to taking action and failing.  The Lord has helped me with this tremendously, but I do have to make this choice daily to continue to walk in His truth and not my own because sometimes I am really wrong.  Sometimes I am actually believing a lie and not remembering His truth. 

Furthermore, there have been times when I did make a plan, was intentional about it, but it turned out that my plans were different than the plans that the Lord had for me. 

"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.  The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD"  (Proverbs 21:30-31).

At first glance, these scriptures can cause one to be ticked off by this.  Doesn't that seem a litte controlling of the LORD?  However, this is actually such a wonderful truth because I can trust the LORD to thwart any plan that does not line up with His.  Wow!  I am so thankful for this because I can drum up some spectacular plans.  As I have matured over the years, though, I have realized that I really do not want any plan to succeed that is against the LORD.  I really do want what He has for me because He always knows what is best and wants that best for me.  I have to chose to line myself up with Him to receive it.  He is so gracious and compassionate to guide me in this process.  Sometimes I am very resistent - like a toddler.

I have an easier time, though it still takes thought and a plan, to be intentional with the things I love, desire, and enjoy.  It is so easy, though, to let distraction in to steal away my focus.  I hate when that happens.  Perhaps you know what I mean?

How much more focus and determination does it take then to be intentional with those things I do not like, don't want to do, and really even loathe at times?  What will happen if I really take hold of those things and take action?  The little things like my floors getting mopped more often and the shelves being dusted will not be a big deal.  But even more importantly, my children will have an even better environment in which they can learn and flourish, people in my life who may annoy me (or really do annoy me) will still feel God's love through me, my husband will feel my appreciation of his hard work, and I will experience the fulfillment that comes with taking initiative, being intentional, and letting the Lord be my strength and my guide. 

None of us are going to be perfect at this.  I fight this battle daily.  Even to write this post right now has taken the choice to be intentional.  After this I am going to have to be intentional about making a plan for dinner and for much before that when my children are done napping and my husband comes home from work.  I want to thrive in these areas of everyday life and not let past failures or the fear of future failures distract or paralyze me.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:12-14).

This takes humility and it takes intentionality!

In the near future, I will post about intentionality in love, thankfulness, spiritual warfare, diligence, and anything else that comes up as we go.  I hope you'll join me, and I would love to hear from you.  In what areas is intentionality especially challenging for you?