Sunday, September 4, 2011

Pregnancy Ponderings

Courtesy of Jennifer Cottom Photography
Over the past two weeks I have been mostly not blogging or doing much other than: 1.Eat, 2.Sleep, 3.Make placenta (well God's actually doing that), 4.Feeding my husband and children, and 5.Think about this amazing process we call pregnancy.

I know it is pretty obvious, but I wanted to look up the word pregnant to get the definition - especially because of phrases like, "pregnant with possibility," and "pregnant pause."  So according to here goes:

1.having a child or other offspring developing in the body; with child or young, as a woman or female mammal.
2. fraught, filled, or abounding (usually followed by with ): a silence pregnant with suspense.
3. teeming or fertile; rich (often followed by in ): a mind pregnant in ideas.
4. full of meaning; highly significant: a pregnant utterance.
5. of great importance or potential; momentous: a pregnant moment in the history of the world.
Quite frankly I think that definitions 2-5 also describe definition number 1!  What potential, great importance, richness, significance, etc a pregnancy holds!  Why?  Because this baby growing within is loved by God, is being knit together by God, and has a God-given plan for his/her life even before the first breath taken.  That is huge!
I was also thinking about rest.  I have been doing quite a bit of that, and sometimes much to my frustration.  However today, as I have reached the 8 weeks mark, I realized that it has actually been really nice to rest.  Sure, I am very behind on many things, but what a great reason I have been given to just rest a lot. 
Well, and eat a lot, too.  I am still nursing my so-called-toddler (is she really a toddler already?), and being used by God to create another human being that I also must feed.  It's a lot of food.
But back to rest...
As much as I can take care of things on my end - eating, drinking my supplements, drinking enough water (also a lot), not doing anything crazy like sky diving, etc. - I still must rest and let God continue to work while I do so.  This became a really cool picture to me today.  Sometimes I just need to sit back, or in this case go to sleep, and let God work.  There are many times in the Bible where we see this, but some of my favorites are:
"But Moses said to the people, "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever." (Exodus 14:13 - When they were about to cross the Red Sea.)
"You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out to face them, for the LORD is with you." (2 Chronicles 20:17- Another great story of God protecting His people from their enemies.)
"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)
What other areas of my life do I need to just rest in the LORD and trust Him to take care of it?
A lot of needed rest can also provide great opportunity to pray if I let it.  In addition to these ponderings, the LORD has also been faithful to remind me to pray for my friends who are also expecting a child and for those who desperately want to be expecting a child, but have found it difficult to do so.  I've also been praying for friends I know who have lost a child or have miscarried or have a sick child.
I do know what it is like to miscarry.  I did that a couple of years ago.  It was very humbling because somehow I didn't really consider the possibility.  Then it happened, and as hard as it was, I really learned a lot.  Three months later I was pregnant again, and I realize that without that miscarriage I never would have known my second child.  What a loss that would have been!  The baby we lost is in Heaven waiting for us, and there are many cousins, aunts/uncles, and friends who were miscarried that are there with him/her.  This does bring comfort.  I really pray I never have to go through that again, but I do thank God for His comfort during that time and since. 
I wish more people talked about miscarriage.  I never realized how many women I know have miscarried until after we miscarried back in 2009.  I wonder how helpful it would be for everyone if we talked about it more. 
We have always been "early-announcers" when it comes to pregnancy.  We announced to everyone we were pregnant at 4 weeks the first three times and 5 weeks this time (basically as soon as we found out).  My husband and I decided that even after miscarrying the second pregnancy, we would still announce early.  Our reason was that we wanted people to pray for us no matter what.  I was so glad we didn't have to go through that alone.  Plus I really don't think I could keep such exciting news to myself.  I understand why other women struggle with this, though, or decide to wait to share the news. 
All in all, I praise the LORD for this gift, this blessing, this miracle.  I want to do my best to take care of myself, my baby, my family, and let God be God to take care of it all.  He is so kind, so loving, so generous, and I am continually amazed the He knit me together in my mother's womb and continues to carry out His plan for me as He uses my womb to knit together another.  Amazing.
Now, I am going to go eat for the twelth time today...and then go to bed.

1 comment:

Ana Maria S. said...

Wonderful post Kristen! I agree with you about talking about miscarriages. It was extremely hard for me going through that in July 2006. I had to have a D & C. I knew of a couple friends who had experienced that too but no one really talked about it. We did purposefully wait to tell anyone we were pregnant the 4th time until I was past the 12th week (because that is when I lost my 3rd baby) We actually waited till 18 weeks once we had the ultrasound and found out It's a girl! & she was healthy, then we told the whole family :)I will continue to pray for you and your pregnancy. Rest up!